Fathers Day… I miss my Dad everyday … so Fathers Day is just another reminder. Jeff and I were chatting the other day and speaking of those special men in our lives who made a big impact. I always figured I was pretty fortunate as I had a good handful of male role models and they each taught me different things.
There was my Pops, Jake: Honestly, too many things to list but if I had to sum it up in a small box it would be how to live. To do so with extremes… be frugal, but if you are going to do something do it right. Be loyal, work hard and always CYA. Laugh, often and hard. Pay attention to who people are and act accordingly – even family can have ulterior motives.
Wayne: Make mistakes – it is the only way you truly find out who you are. And try something different, like playing bagpipes.
Jerry: Most people aren’t in love when they get married. That comes later, because you never truly know until the two of you struggle through something together, and again and again and again. Read…. Eve-ry-thing.
Dave: People won’t always be kind but you should be. Laugh; always laugh. There are bad days but every day is a party, so find a reason to laugh.
My parents did well. They surrounded us with these people who weren’t family – they were more. They were the ones who would come and hold our hands when things went bad. They were the ones to raise their glasses and laugh uncontrollably late into the night when things were good – or bad, they were always there to give us a smile. Not because they had to, but because that is what we did. Losing them…at the time I didn’t realize the depth of what I had lost, how absolutely influential and important each one had been. These men, they were my family, they taught me about life and what men should be – above and beyond family.
Then there is Jeff: In some ways maybe the most influential of them all because he had to pick up where these great men before him left off. He taught me how to be. Just be. A lot like Kermit the Frog – it isn’t easy being green. I have always struggled with being me. He has taught me that I can just settle into that and not try to be, but rather to just be. Of course that comes with Delainey. He has built a magnificent bridge with her and they have created their own relationship, one that stands alone with love, respect and inappropriate humor. (Mostly inappropriate humor.)
Here is the interesting thing about these five men. None of them had biological children. Not a single one. I don’t know what that means, I only know that it is quite interesting. Some of them raised children, some didn’t. Fathers day is not biological. It can be no doubt; but it is not required. But in the end isn’t it quite wonderful that five men could have such an impact on my life? They provided love, counsel, encouragement, and most important; their time. Things that “family and fathers” are supposed to do, yet here they were knocking it out of the ball park.
Hug a Dad, or really just any man who has influenced your life and made it better. “Fathers” are about love; not DNA. In this life we really do get what we give.
(Yes I know, “Father’s Day” has an apostrophe: Blame it on Google!)
Fathers day is not just biological.